Bits & Pieces of Me

                                                  There was light at the end of the tunnel            It seemed ages since my last post. I wanted to continue so much but I was busy with my work.Loads of books to marks.Papers to correct.           I remember when I was offered to train in MTC (Penang) a teacher's training college. It was the best news ever., but another dilemma awaited me.If I accept the offer  then who would take care of my family? It was a very hard decision to make.           God is great, suddenly my second brother got a job at the local sugar factory in Chuping.My two years in college saw my brother wo...

                                                               My old house       50 over years ago my father was seen working so hard to build a small house for his family.He cut some wood he collected himself in the woods nearby.Then he bought some planks for the wall and the floor.With the help of some friends the house was ready within a few weeks.There it was.With only one room and a small kitchen enough to keep a few pots and pans.He was very proud of the house.Maybe because he built it himself. He told me once."Nanti bila hangpa besar, belajar elok2 boleh lah buat umah besar.Rumah batu , nanti ayah boleh tumpang duduk sama."He said as he bent down collecting the nails back into the box.           The poverty in the family never left even a dream in m...

        This morning I went to Telok Kacang.I saw the land where my old house stood 40 years ago.I saw the old jack tree still standing tall and proud.I looked across the road and saw the small shop where I used to buy groceries and where I bought the pink kropok to share with Mariyani and Faridah.       I breathed in the air there slowly like I wanted to gulp in every single memory back into me.I left this place to be where I am now with a family of my own.       I watched the people passing by.All of them were unfamiliar faces.I am a stranger now to the place.The place that made a different person out of me....           The familiar lane I was so attached to .Mariyani's house used to be on the left where that yellow house is.On the right was the grocery shop I used to buy my pink kropok.Opposite Mariyani's house where you can see the banana plant was the place we used to play, sang s...

                                                     Ayah..     I remembered him as a tall and handsome man.Among his siblings he had the good looks.He was a man of few words.He goes out to work very early in the morning leaving some cash to my mum everyday without fail.In his younger days he worked with the JKR.Then when my second brother was born he got himself a stall at the market selling fish.He was a fishmonger only for a few years.Then he bought a lorry and started to be middleman in the same business.He has an assistant to help him.He would go as far as Sg Petani where he got fresh fish to distribute to his friends at the market.Business was good.         I remembered one day he came home driving a car. We were delighted.He took us for a spin around the neighbourhood.I remembered jadi 'Perak' ...

                                               My favourite aunt         I have an aunt .My father's elder sister. I used to like her a lot. She .answered most of my questions when others didnt bother to care.Questions like, "Seronok ke kawin? or where do babies come from?" We Malays sometimes are to shy to discuss things like that with a teenage girl but my aunt never failed to answer me.          She was very good with her hands.She sewed beautiful embroideries which I admired.She taught me how to sew simple but beautiful embroideries too.          She had a way with men.She had been married many times.They adored her.Feature wise she was not a pretty...

           After finishing form 5 most of my friends went for further studies.Not me.I never had the slightest idea to do so.My only intention was to find a job to keep having food on the table for the family.            I got a job soon after that.A temporary teacher with RM 230. per month.It was enough to feed 6 mouth then.I would make sure to buy groceries the minute I got my salary. So at least food was not a problem anymore.At 18 I was the sole breadwinner of the family!....            Hari raya that year was a merrier one.My siblings had baju raya! They were happy to go round the neighbourhood in their new clothes..Raya meant so much to them...I said to myself.."Ayah if only you could see this."           We have ketupat and even cookies..and some money in my siblings pockets.....To the...

                                                           After my father's death                    It was three years of miserable hopeless empty days.My second brother was 13,my third brother was 7, and my youngest sister was 2.It was hard to make ends meet.We live on a day to day basis.Maybe we had food for lunch but we were not sure whats for dinner.                    During big days like hari raya my siblings and I would stay by the windows and watched people passed by in new colorful clothes.We hadn't any.Everybod...

                                            My father's last days    When I was in form one my father suddenly fell sick.He was sick on and off for two years.Sometimes he was ok and sometimes he would lie down in bed for days.He had terrible pain in the stomach that saw him crying so hard.I would run into my room every time he had the attack and closed my ears.Couldnt stand to see him that way.      Then we knew it was cancer of the liver.since then life was not the same ever again.My mom was a housewife in every sense of the word.She knew nothing of how to work except her daily routine around the house.We had a hard time to make ends meet.      A year later after a long stay in the ward he was transfered to Penang Hospita...

        My best friends during childhood were Mariyani and Faridah.They were my neighbours.Mariyani was the eldest of 7 siblings.Every day from 3oclock onwards in the afternoon the three of us were like kembar siam.         Playing dolls,made from my mom' sarong, or kawin-kawin ( Mariyani would be the bridegroom because I insisted to be the bride  ! ) We would collect leaves and tied them to put over the head like a long veil.Looked beautiful enough. kah kah.         Faridah would be the wedding planner. She would suggest a place for the bersanding .The other boys and girls would clap their hands and pretend to eat as if food is in front of them .(This part was the most ridiculous).         When I was in form two Mariyani and her family suddenly accepted the offer as peneroka felda in Pahang.A bus came and take them there with all their belongings.It was so sudden. She w...

      .             I was born in a small village about 3/4 kilometres from Kangar.Our house was a wooden one room house that my father built himself slowly until it was done. Paddy fields were everywhere. Puyu, haruan and keli were everywhere too.I would fish at every single opportunity dipping my hook in between the paddy plants.             I was the eldest in the family but my  mother never asked or need my help to do anything.I have no responsibility at all until the later part of my life when the whole thing changed and suddenly I was the one who took charge of everything.              My grandparents from my father's side lived nearby .I remember my grandfather as a very handsome man. He was very very fair.They said he was from Acheh.He landed here in Perlis because of a failed relationship back at ...